Friday, December 18, 2009

Interminable

Now is when I really, REALLY wish I lived closer to where I work. I've been stuck at home for almost two weeks now (because I'm not supposed to travel further than an hour from my hospital at this point), working on grants and other computer-based things from here. The first week was GREAT, it was so nice to have the peace and quiet and comfort of being at home, I got a lot done and felt very calm. But this second week has been increasingly sucktackular. I am on edge with every weird feeling, thinking "maybe I'm going into labor now!" (but never am), trying to get work done and forcing myself to read the abstracts and fill out paperwork for the meetings I have coming up this spring. All the while there's nothing to distract me but my sleeping dog and "A Baby Story" on TLC; nobody to talk to, nowhere to get much of a change of scenery except for the mall (and I don't need to BUY any more STUFF--we've been BUYING STUFF for months for this baby!!!), wondering how my lab is doing, wondering when this baby is going to come out.

I still have some cleaning stuff I want to do, but a lot of it is vacuuming, and I need help carrying the vacuum downstairs and moving the furniture around. I might end up doing it anyway, just very, very slowly. One chair at a time.

If I just lived close to campus I could go potter around in my office there and at least get to TALK to people. I don't know anyone in our town or anywhere nearby, so I can't even go have lunch or coffee with friends or family or something. I can tell I'd make a really, really bad stay-at-home mom, given that I haven't even lasted a week before getting extremely antsy and starting to mope out with the boredom of this constant lonely scenery every day. Bleh.

11 comments:

Prof-like Substance said...

Cherish boredom because you're not going to see it again for a while.

Professor in Training said...

Yeah - what PLS said!

Arlenna said...

I know, but it's hard to cherish it when it makes you have emotional breakdowns every few hours. :(

Prof-like Substance said...

That's not the boredom....

The end sucks. It's all about waiting for something that is going to drastically alter your life and you have no control over when it will happen. We were waiting to hear back about my job at the same time, which doubled the fun. You want everything to speed up this week and you'll want everything to slow down as soon as the kid is born. Sleep now, while you still can and busy ourself with something fun, like actually reading non-science.

Comrade PhysioProf said...

Supposedly, if you walk around a lot, it'll make the baby come out.

chall said...

oh, I can understand the boredom and loneliness. However, as the oter ssaid sooon it will be over.

(And I did laugh about CPP's comment since I thouht the same reading about "you moving furniture and vaccum". Movement does help though, doesn't it?!)

Dr. Jekyll and Mrs. Hyde said...

Seriously, the docs are so concerned you can't go to work? I hope everything's ok with the pregnancy. It's not as though you're going to deliver in one hour, ha ha ha ha!

But yeah boredom is no fun. Are there local stores you can walk to? You'll want good easy destinations to go with the baby eventually.

Or if you're craft-y, some baby project? I made a new bassinet cover to replace the winnie-the-pooh hand-me-down.

Calling relatives and friends in other time zones is another good one. Of course you have to start every call with "No baby yet..."

Arlenna said...

Nah, it's not that they're that concerned, it's just that my work is an hour and a half drive away from my home (84 miles each way), including a stretch through some back country areas where I don't even get cellphone reception. So I don't feel very comfortable knowing that if anything does start to happen, I still have at least that long of a drive ahead of me in an area of the country where the weather and roads are starting to get bad.

There's nothing local to walk to, just an IGA and a liquor store about 1.5 miles at the main intersection of town, but I can drive into the bigger-ish town we're near and go places there sometimes. I just used up the novelty of that last week, lol, and I have no friends here.

Oh well, we're very, very close.

Arlenna said...

Oh yeah: and I have been doing some projects, which has been fun--I made ornaments and a tree skirt for our x-mas tree, stockings for all my family members who are coming here for the x-mas, framed some cross-stitched arty stuff that my grandma made before she died, put them up in baby's room. Also got an institutional grant written and submitted, a manuscript finished up and submitted, so really, I'm ust whining. :P

drdrA said...

Arlenna-

Be prepared for this issue to continue when the baby comes, and maybe even get a bit worse when post partum hormones are going totally nuts.

I had a very hard time with this when BigA was born- only the transition was very, very abrupt because I worked until the day I went into labor.

If you need someone to talk to while you are on maternity leave and feeling isolated- please feel free to send me an email. I did much better when I had a few friends (for me it was mostly neighborhood stay at home moms) to rely on.

Candid Engineer said...

Hang in there, Arlenna! Your baby will pop out soon enough, and I'm sure you've written some great stuff in the meantime. Thinking of you.